


Unrequited Urge for Affection

by VaioTheGayLizard



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Balance Spoilers, Basically every character and cannon ship makes an appearence, But I won't tag them all, Cannon conversation, Changing cannon a tiny bit so some things make sense? But it doesn't affect any major plot points., Conflicted Magnus, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Happy Ending, It starts off slow but please bear with me, M/M, Magnus is super conflicted because he likes Avi but he's still in love with Julia?, Major Spoilers, Mentions of Death, Mid-Cannon, Minor Angst, No seriously this basically spoils the entire ending, Out of cannon conversation, Pining, Pining Magnus, Post-Crystal Kingdom, The most sexual it gets for now is Magnus admires Avi in the shower, forgive my terrible summary, mentions of depression/self sacrificial behavior, mentions of fire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2020-01-04 04:39:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18336350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VaioTheGayLizard/pseuds/VaioTheGayLizard
Summary: Magnus and Avi are just gym buddies, lifting weight and sparring together, until Magnus has an overwhelming urge to kiss his friend... not passionately, but softly. Lovingly. He has a strong urge to hold his hand and call him pet names. To be affectionate. And Avi is clueless to all of it.Magnus' inner conflict over the love of his life and his new crush puts his head in a whirlwind, not to mention the [krhsrrrrrkrhshshhshrrrksh] and [krshshhhhsrkshhhrkkrshhhr].What's a Ruff Boi to do?





	Unrequited Urge for Affection

Despite what some might assume, life on the BoB moon base could actually get pretty boring between missions. There was only so much training they could do every day before Taako and Merle began to run low on spell slots and they had to stop. On a long day, they would train for seven or eight hours, but usually it was only three or four.

Magnus, personally, got in at least 8 hours every day. He woke up early in the mornings to run with Killian and would have breakfast while he waited for his teammates to drag themselves out of bed. He would make sure they were starting to get ready before he would go to do some training with Carey, continuing to improve his rogue skills. Eventually, Taako and Merle would wander in and get ready for group training.

They would hang out in the Icosagon and participate in numerous sparring matches against teams of regulators and small groups of moon base guards. Once all the magic-wielders burned most of their slots, however, the arena would clear out and everyone went about their other business. Magnus would still be feeling pumped up, though, and always wanted to do more. He never got to use his full strength in sparring matches.

He headed to the weight room almost every day, rotating through the major muscle groups to work everything regularly and give his body enough rest, too. And he was never known to skip leg day.

There were often other people in the weight room as well, but an almost constant presence when Magnus worked out was Avi. Magnus always entered the weight room and scanned for that familiar head of curly hair pulled back into a ponytail, and his bright green eyes and light brown skin. Avi had a certain look about him that really stood out to Magnus, but nobody else seemed to realize how striking he was. The Cannon Coordinator and the Ruff Boi would spot each other on the bench press and chat while they stretched. Magnus liked Avi a lot. He was a cool guy. They got along well and it was really nice talking to him.

Avi wasn't as strong as Magnus, but he was fit nonetheless. Magnus admired that he liked keeping himself in shape, even if his job didn't require getting into fights. Besides, he had to be strong enough to roll the giant cannonballs around when they broke down and needed repairing. Although they rarely saw each other outside the gym, it didn't bother him too much.

Until Avi went planetside to look in to something for a mission and Magnus didn't have a workout buddy. Every day for a week, he would walk into the gym, hoping that Avi would be back, but he wasn't. He missed seeing his wide smile that made his eyes crinkle and his awkward jokes and generally chill personality. He didn't spend as long on his workouts and got spotted by whoever was in the gym. He just didn't have as much motivation for it without his pal.

On the day of Boyland's Rights of Remembrance, Magnus looked rather depressed. Everyone assumed it was because he was sad about the fallen regulator, but he really couldn't care less. He hadn't even gone to the gym that day, because he knew Avi wouldn't be there. He skipped leg day.

His mind was pulled away from his own lamentation when they were called by the Director to give them their next mission. She said that Avi had been working planetside all week to find a way to get them close to the Temporal Chalice, and Magnus perked up. He knew Avi was down on Faerun, but he didn't know exactly where and he couldn't really just go down for a visit whenever he felt like it. He was excited to see him again and, hopefully, they would be able to get the mission done quickly so they could all head back up together.

They didn’t get to talk to Avi for very long before being shot in to the time bubble, but Magnus found himself smiling at him a lot. He felt happier just being in his presence. He was honestly trying to fight back the urge to hug him. He refrained and climbed into the specialized cannonball, hearing Avi's muffled voice before everything went white.

***

When they emerged from the bubble, tumbling out of the runaway minecart and landing face first in the dust, he immediately searched around for Avi. He got so much relief and happiness by seeing him. Magnus stood up and looked back at the bubble, seeing the rotating teeth and fiery maw of the Purple Worm coming through the hole he had created with the Chance Lance.

He grabbed Avi's shoulder and pushed him down to the ground instinctively, diving back into the dirt himself as the giant worm flew right over their heads. He kept a hand on Avi's shoulder and squeezed gently until the Purple Worm went off with its babies. He looked at Avi when the dust settled and took his hand away. Avi said a quiet "thank you" and they stood up again.

After Refuge caught up with the rest of the world and they said their goodbyes, the BoB employees were on their way back up. Avi took the driver's seat, as the rest of them looked exhausted. Taako fell in to light meditation in the backseat, his arms wrapped loosely around the Umbra Staff. Merle just stared out the glass ball, watching the ground disappear behind clouds. Magnus stayed mostly alert, spacing out a few times when he thought about crawling into bed and sleeping for many hours.

The glass bubble rose up into a hole in the moon and Avi parked it, opening the hatch. The hiss caused Merle to snap back in to focus and Taako was roused by none other than Angus McDonald.

"Hello sirs! How was your mission? Did you succeed in retrieving the Grand Relic? You were only gone for an hour! Was it really that easy?" He said and Taako ruffled his hair, still looking sleepy.

"I'll tell you the whole story a bit later, little man. For now, we gotta get this thing to Lucretia." He said with a smile and Angus smiled back nervously.

"I really think you should call the Director 'Madam Director.' That's what she prefers to be called."

"Okay, Ango." Taako said, halfway through a yawn and headed for the hanger door, Merle close behind. Magnus started to follow them so they could all go to the Director and he glanced back at Avi, who was talking to Angus about how running the hanger had gone. Magnus caught his eye and smiled.

"We'll catch up really soon." He said and jogged after his teammates.

Once the Temporal Chalice was destroyed and they received their payment, it was time for some well deserved rest. Taako went to the dormitory to clean the dust off of himself and go to bed, and Merle found a nice spot in the grass to just lay back and watch the stars come out as the sun set.

Magnus headed back to the hanger to see if Avi was still there. He was exhausted and wanted to just go to bed and sleep, but he wanted to see Avi more.

The hanger guard was getting the dirt and dust off the cannonball they had brought back from Woven Gulch. It had been an hour since they arrived back on the moon and Avi was already focused on his work.

"Hey." Magnus said deeply as he stepped inside. Avi turned to look at him and smiled widely.

"Hey, Magnus. How's it going? You must be exhausted after... how many hours did you go through?" Avi said and put his rag down, standing in front of Magnus.

"Twelve. Sometimes we died partway through the hour, but, twelve more or less." He shrugged and Avi shuffled.

"Why don't you go get some sleep? You look like you need it."

"Nah, I'm good. I wanted to catch up with you. I realized that I miss hanging out with you." He said, sounding slightly shy. Avi wiped his hands on his work pants and they sat down on the steps up to the cannon platform together.

"Yeah, I missed you too. I was working almost nonstop on the Jaeger Cannon all week, and I kept thinking about telling you about my progress." He chuckled lightly and Magnus smiled a little.

"Well, good thing it worked. You're really smart." Magnus said and Avi gave a noncommittal sound and a shrug. Magnus was too tired to push it right now.

They sat there side by side for a while, just talking about nothing. Magnus leaned back against the side of the cannonball and closed his eyes. The still unopened scroll case was at his side and he was anxious to see what it was, but he would have to wait until he was alone. His mind also played over what the Chalice had shown him. What he could change. Seeing Julia's face again and watching himself kiss her and telling her that he loved her... and then leaving her. Knowing that she would die two days later. Realizing that she wouldn't want him to sacrifice the people he had saved for the people he had lost.

"Magnus?" Avi said and Magnus opened his eyes to see concerned green ones looking back at him. "Hey, are you okay? You're..." He reached out and wiped a tear off Magnus' cheek. Magnus quickly brought a hand up to feel that he was, in fact, crying. A few silent tears rolled down his cheeks, leaving tracks in the dust on his face and being absorbed by his facial hair.

"Oh, uh, I'm fine. Fine. Just... tired. It was a hard mission and um... tough uh, tough choices." He cleared his throat, starting to get choked up. Avi was kneeling in front of him, one hand on Magnus' knee and the other still on the side of his face. Magnus looked down and Avi backed away quickly.

"Get some rest, Magnus. Please?" He said and stood up, holding out a hand to help him to his feet. Magnus took the hand and composed himself.

"I'll see you around, Avi." He said with a wide smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"Goodnight, Mags." He said and Magnus walked out of the hanger. He was about to go back to the dormitory, but realized he needed privacy to open this scroll. He scanned the grassy campus and didn't see Merle anywhere, so he must be at home with Taako now. It was late and the only place Magnus could think of that would be totally empty was the cafeteria. He headed that way, eyes stinging from tears and scroll case held tight in his hand.

***

Magnus spent days trying to make himself think about what was on that scroll. He could picture it it just fine, it was a figure in a red robe and that figure seemed to be him, but when he tried to push further, when he tried to think about himself actually wearing a red robe, or being a Red Robe, it was just uncomfortable static.

He had a "chat" with the Voidfish that gave him few answers and raised a lot of questions. He was sick of stressing out about it, though, so he poured himself back in to training.

He and Avi continued to work out together. It was great now that he had his regular buddy back. They spared against each other to work on their stamina and Magnus almost always won.

They were sparring now. It was getting late and the gym was empty except for the two of them, circling each other on the mat. They had already been going for quite a while and both of them were sweaty and breathing hard, but poised to fight.

Magnus was wearing a tank top that hugged close to his barrel chest and broad torso. He was big all the way around, but it was almost pure muscle and he had amazing stamina and speed. His sideburns were sweaty, which was gross, but he was smiling as he stared Avi down.

Avi was slimmer, but also pure muscle. Lean and tall and toned, with quick reflexes and quicker wits. His dark hair used to be in a bun, but it had almost completely fallen loose over the course of their fight.

"You just gonna dance with me all night?" Magnus teased, panting slightly. Avi let out a breathy chuckle.

"In your dreams." He said and lunged forward. Magnus had seen his leg tense a moment before he actually moved and it gave him just enough warning to swerve out of the way, grabbing Avi around the waist as he flew past and twisting to throw him to the floor on his back.

He hadn't anticipated Avi planting a foot on his thigh, though. Magnus was dense, but Avi could leg press an insane amount. The momentum of Magnus' throw helped, too, and he pushed hard to flip him over. Magnus landed with a thud on to his back and in the time it took him to realize what had happened, Avi scrambled over and pinned him.

They grinned at each other for a moment before Magnus tried to break out of the pin. Avi tried to keep him down, but Magnus was just a bit stronger and he got a leg up, allowing him to kick off the floor and swap their positions. Avi was under him now and he pinned his wrists, locking his ankles over Avi's legs with a knee on either side of his hips.

Avi's hair came completely out of it's tie and splayed out on the dark blue mat around his head. He stared up at Magnus with this bright green eyes, panting and grinning and not trying to fight back.

"Damn." He said, chuckling. "You're really good. Will I ever beat you?" He asked and Magnus chuckled back.

"Keep dreaming, sweetheart." He said teasingly and something happened in his mind and in his heart that hadn't happened with anyone in a long time. The urge to lean down and kiss Avi, very softly, for a few moments, just because it would be nice.

He blinked rapidly and stood up off of Avi, clearing the image from his mind as fast as he could. Avi looked a little less jovial now, but didn't think too much of Magnus' sudden retreat.

Magnus held out a hand to help Avi to his feet and clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Good match. You almost had me there, but you didn't plant your knees firmly enough to be able to hold my legs down." He said, explaining how he had gotten loose from Avi's last pin. They got some water and headed for the locker room to shower and change.

Magnus peeled off his shirt, revealing his thick forest of chest hair, and tossed it in the laundry bin with everyone else's sweaty workout clothes. He took a deep breath and turned back to his locker to get his towel, and he froze for a moment. There was an eyeful of Avi in front of him. He tried not to seem like he was looking as Avi stepped out of his boxers and draped a towel around his shoulders to head to the shower.

Magnus wondered why this was affecting him like this. They'd showered together before, it wasn't a big deal. But after having the urge to kiss Avi? Seeing him naked was suddenly weirder. Because it was dawning on Magnus that he didn't just admire his strength and dedication, but he actually found him attractive. Shit.

Magnus finished undressing and headed towards the back wall to rinse off all the sweat. Avi was standing under the spray with his back to the entrance and Magnus chose a faucet several feet away. He turned on the spray a little colder than usual and let it pour over him.

They were quiet for a couple minutes and Magnus scrubbed soap in his his hair and sideburns. He made a single sideways glance and his heart lurched at the view of Avi, dark skin glistening in the water and toned muscle on full display as he rinsed the soap off himself.

Magnus quickly moved his eyes back to the white tile wall and started to rinse off as well. He just wanted to get out of there quickly because what the fuck was happening?

He heard Avi shut his water off and the gentle slap of wet feet on tile as he exited the showers. There were sounds of a locker opening and shuffling fabric as he got dressed, and Magnus just stood under the cold stream of water.

Avi passed by the showers again on his way towards the exit and looked at Magnus. The partition wall blocked everything from the waist down from this angle.

"I'll see you around, Magnus." Avi said and waved, his bag slung over his shoulder and water bottle in hand. His wet hair was back in a bun and Magnus waved a soapy hand at him.

"See ya." He said and waited for the sound of the door closing before he leaned against the cool tile wall. What the fuck.

***

Magnus decided to just wait for all this to pass. He would just go about life as normal and the urge to kiss Avi every time he saw him would go away.

Of course, it didn't. It actually got stronger. Every time he walked into a room that Avi occupied, he wanted to go over and kiss him. Not long and hard and needy, but softly. Just a little peck, as a greeting. He wanted to call him "babe" and put his arm around him on the couch and hold his hand while they walked. He wanted to be domestic and cute and loving with him.

Magnus was in the shower after a workout, letting cold water pour over his face. It was earlier in the day, and there were several more guys around. There had been a big group training session, so there were a bunch of guards that were chatting and laughing as they showered off. Magnus was in the corner with Avi right next to him and Merle a couple showers down, his Soulwood arm laying in the bench back by his locker.

"Maaagnuuus..." Avi sing-songed and waved a hand at him. Magnus snapped back into focus from his fantasizing about being all cute and gooey with Avi and looked at him with wide eyes. Ah shit, he had been talking to him for a while. "Welcome back, dude. You spaced out there. Anyways, I was asking if you wanted to come hang out in my dorm tonight. My roommate is planetside this weekend for his niece's birthday, so we don't have to worry about bothering him." He said and Magnus swallowed. Being alone in a small room with Avi for several hours, with no chance of interruption, and a high chance of alcohol? Bad, bad idea.

"Sure." He said, shutting off the cold water and reaching for his towel. "How about right after dinner?"

"Sounds great. See you then." Avi said and Magnus bade a quick goodbye before getting the hell out of there.

***

Magnus paced back and forth in his bedroom for a solid twenty minutes before dinner. He had to do something about this. He tried ignoring it, he tried waiting it out, he tried telling himself that it was unrealistic and that it was never going to happen. Not with the danger of his job and the very high likelihood that he would rush in and get himself killed sooner rather than later. There was just no way he could be in a relationship with Avi.

But he wanted it so badly. The longing in his heart was so strong it physically pained him to restrain himself around Avi. And he'd told himself he never wanted a romantic relationship again. He knew that he had found and lost his soulmate in life, and that no one would ever be able to replace her.

'But he's not replacing her.' A voice in his head said. He couldn't tell if it was his own or not. 'He's not replacing Julia. He won't even try to, he'll understand. But that doesn't mean you can't be happy with him.' The voice rationalized and Magnus grumbled, talking out loud but under his breath back to it.

"But how do I have that conversation? He doesn't know about her. Nobody does. How do I say, 'hey Avi, I really want to kiss you all the time and hold your hand and do all of the things one might consider 'dating' but we can't actually be dating or have it go anywhere because I'll never really move on from my dead wife.' That's not something you can say to someone you want to be with." The voice that answered sounded sorta like Taako. Taako always gave good advice. 

'He's a smart guy. He'll understand. Tell him about Julia, tell him you love her. Because you do. And you know that she would want you to be happy. And Avi? He can make you happy. And maybe you don't really call it dating, because that's hard, but if you're honest about it, the worst he can say is no.' The sorta-Taako voice said in his head.

"What if he does say no and I still feel this way?" He asked himself, or the voice, or both quietly, sitting down on his bed and running his fingers through his hair. It was almost time for dinner and he and Avi were going to his room right after.

'Well, then, that's your own thing to deal with. You do your best to get over him and keep your friendship. And maybe you're not friends anymore. That sucks, but it's really between the two of you.' The most-definitely-Taako voice said and Magnus sighed. 'But you gotta talk to him no matter what.'

Magnus stood up and opened his bedroom door. Taako was sitting by the door, Umbra Staff in hand, glowing slightly at the tip. He looked up at Magnus, blushed for a moment, and smiled sheepishly.

"You were acting weird when you got home, and I wanted to test out a couple new spells." He said and Magnus rolled his eyes, walking past the elf to go get his boots. Taako scrambled to his feet and followed Magnus to the door, hooking the handle of the Staff over his arm. "I'm serious though. You have to talk to him." He said and Magnus tied his boots tightly. Too tightly, really, but he wasn't going to re-tie them in front of Taako and show his frustration.

"I will, I will. Now shut up. And don't say a fucking word about Julia to anyone. I- I didn't want you to know yet." He said, fumbling with the laces slightly. Taako frowned and put a slender hand on Magnus' huge shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I just... care about you, believe it or not. And I saw that you were hurting and I wanted to help."

"So you invaded my brain instead of just talking to me?" Magnus shouted and Taako flinched away from him.

"I'm sorry, that was stupid of me! I won't do it again, I promise. Seriously, I'll pretend I don't know anything. I won't say a word to a soul about any of it. Honestly, Mags, I will probably forget about all of this in like, a day. If you ever tell me about all this for real, and I act like I'm hearing it for the first time, I won't be acting. I'm serious." He said, a grin growing on his face as he saw Magnus relax and began to smile. Soon, they were both laughing, just standing by the front door. Magnus straightened up and sighed.

"Alright, yeah. Okay." He said and clapped Taako on the shoulder. "Thanks for the advice, anyways." He said and opened the door so they could head to dinner. 

"And, Magnus?" Taako said, stopping him briefly to look in to his eyes. Magnus frowned a little.

"Yeah?"

"Avi's a really great guy. And from what I can see, he likes you, too."

***

Avi finished off his drink at dinner and set his glass down with a satisfied "ahhh" before looking to Magnus.

"Ready to go?" He asked and Magnus nodded, slightly more relaxed than he had been before coming to dinner. Maybe that's because he had a beer in him. Whatever the reason, he was way less anxious and was looking forward to hanging out with Avi.

They bade their friends goodbye and walked out of the dining hall together and out onto the quad. The night air was cool, especially this high up above the planet. Magnus looked up at the stars, walking beside Avi, who had his hands in his pockets. The walk to the guard's quarters was spent in comfortable silence and Avi unlocked the door to his dorm room. It was small, but not cramped. A good sized bunk bed sat on one side of the room. The bottom bunk obviously belonged to Avi, with schematics for giant cannonballs pinned to the walls and maps of Faerun, as well as posters from a few different wrestling matches at Chaos Stadium. The walls around the top bunk were decorated with posters of tricked out battle wagons and topless orc and half-elf women. It made Magnus chuckle a little. The other side of the room had a desk, also covered in schematics, an ice chest, a bookshelf, a small sofa, and a door to the bathroom.

Avi grabbed two beers out of the ice chest and handed one to Magnus before falling on to his bed. Magnus sat on the edge of it carefully and Avi messed with his stone of far speech for a moment.

"There's a wrestling match tonight and they're broadcasting commentary over a certain wavelength. If I can just get the right one..." he ran his fingers over the stone and it glowed, voices from the stone filling the room at a comfortable volume.

"-great match here tonight at Chaos Stadium. Our competitors are moving closer every day to the Grand Championship, where the current belt holders may be dethroned. But for now, we're still on pre-set, two-on-matches. Tonight, it's The Mountain and Fire-Breathing Fred versus King Kobra and The Bone Twister."

The commentator's voice was backed by steady cheering from an unseen crowd and Magnus relaxed more. They sipped their drinks and listened to the commentary through the stone for a while, but it was going to be a long time before the match actually started.

"I wanted to be a wrestler when I was a kid." Avi said suddenly and Magnus looked at him. Avi was shaking his head and chuckling. "I wanted to wear a mask and a cool outfit and jump around. I thought it would be so much fun. I tried to work out and bulk up, but I'm just too lanky. Nobody wants a lanky wrestler, no matter how strong I actually am." He said and Magnus chuckled a little.

"I think you'd make a great wrestler. You're probably physically stronger than half these guys with bulging muscles and tiny heads." He said and Avi laughed.

"Tiny heads?"

"Yeah! Have you ever noticed when you see pictures of them, everyone's got massive shoulders and pecs and arms but their heads are so small compared to it!" He said, grinning at Avi. The other man chuckled again and shook his head before looking at Magnus.

"You're very broad and muscly, but I think you have a very nicely proportioned head." He said and Magnus smiled back at him warmly.

"Thank you. You also have a very nice head." He said and reached out to pat the fluffy curly hair that was tied up on top of Avi's head. It annoyed him sometimes when people messed with his hair, but he always allowed Magnus to touch it as much as he liked.

"What did you want to be when you grew up?" Avi asked and Magnus took a deep breath.

"This may come as a huge surprise to you, but I wanted to be a dog trainer. I wanted to own a dog shelter and take in strays and train dogs and just be with dogs all the time. I loved dogs so much as a kid." He said.

"I hate to break it to you, but I think you still love them just as much." Avi teased and and sort of punched his arm gently. Magnus nodded.

"Yeah, I guess I do." He said and finished off his beer, moving to grab another. As he opened the bottle and turned to go back to the bed, he froze.

Avi was looking out the window, admiring the stars in the sky. The moon illuminated his olive skin and his eyelashes cast long shadows on his cheekbones. He had his knees propped up, a half empty bottle cradled in his hands, and Magnus watched his chest rise and fall with slow breathing. He'd wanted to kiss Avi lots of times before, but the urge was stronger than ever now. He didn't even realize he was staring until Avi looked at him.

"Are you okay? Do I have something on my face?" He asked, reaching up to run a hand over his cheeks.

"No, no, you're fine." Magnus said and cleared his throat, putting the bottle down on the desk. Avi frowned at him.

"Then what's wrong?"

He had no idea what he was going to say, but Magnus knew he had to say something. He's been eating himself up inside for a month over this, and it was causing him way too much stress. Even if Avi thought it was weird and didn't want to talk to him again, at least he could stop worrying about what could happen. Magnus wasn't great with words, and though he had planned on saying something to Avi tonight, he never actually figured out what that was going to be. He was winging it and it was a huge risk.

"I'm married." He began. A great way to start a conversation in which you plan to admit your crush to someone. "Well, I suppose I could say was. My wife, she was killed. And I'm not going to get in to it because I don't want to cry right now, but I still love her. I will never, ever stop loving her." He was doing great so far, getting choked up just thinking about Julia. "She was also my best friend, and I knew her well enough to know that she would just want me to be as happy as possible, no matter what that entails. I'm- it's- you-” He sighed and collected himself. “You make me happy, Avi. Spending time with you just hanging out, and being in the gym together and sparring and spending time with our friends, and I can't help but smile when I see you and I-" Magnus suddenly felt nauseous as his anxiety got even higher, and his voice started to shake. "And I find myself wanting to kiss you? Like, often. But not all sweep-you-off-your-feet passionate, though that would be kinda nice, I want to kiss you softly, and I want to hold your hand, and I want to sit next to you and put my arm around you, and I want to call you pet names and lay in bed together and tell you how beautiful you are." He looked at the floor. Avi's face was blank, his lips slightly parted, and he couldn't read the expression to tell if it was good or bad. "And it's shitty to ask you if you want to do all that with me but say that it might not go any further than that? To do everything that people might call 'dating' but to not call it that, because I'm not ready? And it's not great to develop feelings like this for a close friend and to keep it a secret for a while and then drop it on them all at once, so please forgive me, but... yeah." He said and let out a huge breath. He glanced up at Avi again. He was sitting up now, bottle placed aside, eyebrows high on his forehead. Magnus prepared himself to be kicked out of the dorm and he closed his eyes, but a moment later, he felt arms around his neck. He gasped slightly and opened his eyes to find Avi hugging him. He carefully wrapped his arms around Avi's middle, still trembling with anxiety. They both stood there for a few silent moments, two pairs of strong arms wrapped around each other in a comforting embrace.

"I know you've probably heard this a lot, but I'm sorry about your wife." He said softly in to Magnus' ear. There wasn't pity in his voice, only genuine sympathy. "And I understand that you still love her. I'm sure she was incredible, and I wouldn't expect someone to ever get over somebody they loved so much that they lost." 

Avi paused for a moment and rubbed a few small circles on Magnus' back. He relaxed significantly and tucked his face in Avi's neck. The smaller man inhaled and continued.

"Your feelings are valid, and I don't think it's wrong or bad to want to do affectionate things with someone. Honestly, I'm flattered to be that someone. It's really good that you're honest about not being comfortable with calling it dating, and I'm okay with that." He pulled back so that he could look Magnus in the eye. Avi was smiling warmly and Magnus had tears if his eyes. "If you want to kiss me, you can. And if you want to hold my hand and cuddle and call me 'babe' and for us to not be dating, you totally can. As long as you communicate your feelings and comfort level, I'm with you." He said and Magnus broke in to a watery smile. He pulled Avi in to a tight hug and held the back of his shirt.

"Thank you." He said, his voice breaking slightly. "Thank you so much, I- I thought you were going to call me a weirdo for pining after you and that you were never going to want to see me again."

"Awe, Mags, I'd miss you too much." He said and rubbed his back slowly. "Besides, why would I say no to being allowed to kiss the best looking guy on the Moon?" He said and Magnus blushed, pulling back again so they could have a normal conversation.

"There's no way you think I'm the best looking guy. Have you seen Taako? I think he'd be horribly offended if he heard you saying that." He said and Avi chuckled, his hands resting on Magnus' biceps. Magnus' hands were settled comfortably on Avi's waist and they were just inches apart.

"Taako's not really my type." He said. "I prefer ruggedly handsome."

Magnus laughed and gave Avi a little squeeze.

"So, um... am I allowed to kiss you now? Because I've been thinking about it for weeks." He asked with a nervous 'heh' and Avi smiled up at him.

"Yeah, you're allowed." He said and leaned in. Magnus did the same, closing his eyes just before their lips met.

It was everything he imagined and more.

***

"Friends with benefits but those benefits don't include sex" was how they explained it to their friends a few days later. (The sex part was omitted around Angus, but implied to everyone else.)

Magnus thoroughly enjoyed sitting close to Avi during meals so their legs were pressed together, just feeling the warmth of another person against him while he ate. He relished in holding his hand while they walked to the Icosagon for training, fingers laced together loosely, arms swinging. He loved kissing his forehead as part of a normal greeting, walking in to a room that Avi occupied and placing a hand on his cheek and a kiss on his lips to say hello. And they talked a lot. They talked about nothing, mostly. About training and work and telling stories from their lives. Magnus told Avi the details of their missions so far and about all the fun the Tres Horny Boys had.

"I wish you could join us on missions. It would be great." He said and Avi chuckled lightly. Everyone was just sitting around on the floor in the Icosagon after a long day of training. They’d all showered and then found the least sweaty spot of floor in the whole place to unwind together.

“Ahh, no, you wouldn’t want me down there with you. Believe me, training is great up here, but I’m useless when it comes to actual fighting.” He said and smiled at them. He and Magnus were sitting against the wall, Magnus’ arm around his shoulders and sides pressed together. “I’d be dead right now if Magnus hadn’t pulled me out of the way of that Purple Worm. I didn’t even try to get out of the way, I was just stunned. That’s what always happens.” Avi said lightly and Magnus rubbed his shoulder gently.

“That’s what real practice is for. I sucked at fighting, but I just kept getting into fights and then one day I started winning.” He said. “You’ll never succeed unless you fail a few times.”

Taako laughed at Magnus’ made up proverb and nudged him with the toe of his pointed boot. He was laid out on the floor with one of those half yoga-ball things under his head.

“I know you want your new bestest friend to come kick some ass with us, but he’s not a Reclaimer. You know Lucretia would never let him come with us, no matter how easy the mission. And with how hard she’s been pushing us?” He whistled through the gap in his front teeth and crossed one long leg dramatically over the other. “No way the next mish’ will be easy in any way. Maybe y’all can go get in to fights after we find all these stupid Relics.”

“He’s right,” Avi chimed in and Magnus looked to him again. “The thrall of the Relics is so damn strong when you guys just pass through the hanger, no way I’d be able to resist if one of them was right in front of me. Plus, The Director wouldn’t let me go planetside so soon after I was there last time. Angus did a fine job with the cannons, but there were three breakdowns while I was away and nobody else could figure out how to fix them. I’m much more useful up here, really.”

Magnus huffed, though it was obvious he wasn’t really upset.

“Fine. But as soon as this whole thing is done, we’re going to find some stuff for you to fight!” He said and Avi just shook his head and laughed.

The sun set over the edge of the moon base and folks began to disperse to head to their dorm rooms. Carey climbed out of Killian’s lap and Taako smoothed his skirt. Avi stretched as he stood and turned to hold out a hand for Magnus. He smiled and took it, pulling himself up. Avi didn’t step back as he did so, and now they were standing chest to chest with their hands linked together between them. Avi looked up in to Magnus’ eyes for a moment before a blush crept up on his cheeks and he stepped back. Magnus cleared his throat and just laced their fingers together so they could walk with their arms swinging between them.

Things were good, but they were trying to figure out boundaries and limits as they went along. Hand holding was always good. Kissing in front of people was a little harder.

The Tres Horny Boys, Team Sweet Flips, and Avi all headed back to the barracks. The girls split off first, bidding goodnight to the others and heading for their dorm room. Killian put her arm around Carey and pulled her close as they walked, Noelle close behind.

They reached the guard’s barracks next and Avi slowed his walking pace as they approached. Taako and Merle were several feet ahead of them, talking about magic or something. Magnus always zoned out when conversations turned towards Arcana. He slowed his walking to match Avi’s and they eventually stopped in a shadow near the door to the dome that the guards all slept in. They turned to face each other and Magnus carefully placed his hands on Avi’s waist. Avi’s arms made their way around Magnus’ neck and their foreheads pressed together gently.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” Avi said cheerfully, but softly. Magus hummed in assurance and leaned in for a brief kiss. The meeting of their lips sent a pleasant tingle through his whole body, reverberating in his heart.

“Yeah, see ya.” He said and they stepped away from each other slowly. Avi smiled shyly, gave a small wave, and turned to head inside the dome. Magnus watched him go inside before turning to catch up with his teammates.

***

“Seriously, how can there not be a Midsummer Harvest Festival?” Magnus said, crossing his arms as he glared around the quad. This time last year, the grass had been full of tents and booths for vendors and games and all sorts of festivities, but it was almost completely barren now. There were a few meager decorations scattered around, but nothing even mildly impressive.

“The Director has been pushing everyone so hard lately, she probably thinks the Festival would just be a distraction.” Avi said with a shrug as they headed for breakfast.

“But I was gonna ask you if you wanted to go with me so we could do the rides together and I could like, win you a stuffed Bugbear or something.” Magnus pouted and Avi chuckled shyly.

“Ahh, that would have been sweet. Maybe next year, things will have calmed down a bit and there’ll be a big party. You can invite me to that one.” He said and Magnus uncrossed his arms so he could take Avi’s hand in his own.

“Really? You’ll still be interested in a year?”

“Yeah, I mean, I think we have a good thing going, ya know? I think it’s… nice. And I like it. So unless something changes, I’d say next year is gonna be good.” He said and Magnus smiled widely.

“It’s a date, then. Next Midsummer Harvest, we’ll go to the biggest festival in Faerun and party all night long.” Magnus said and Avi grinned at him. They entered the cafeteria and grabbed some food. Magnus made himself a pre-workout protein shake with both whey and beef protein. He drank it quickly when they sat down and had some toast and eggs as well. He was feeling pumped up and ready for some hardcore training, and then a guard approached the table that the Tres Horny Boys were seated at.

“Reclaimers, The Director has requested your presence in her chambers.” He said and Magnus swallowed his mouthful.

“Whaafor?” Merle said, mouth still full of hash browns.

“There may be a new mission for you.” The guard said, trying not to draw too much attention from the other BoB employees seated nearby. Taako jumped out of his seat, Umbra Staff in hand.

“Fucking finally! I’m getting real sick of the moon. Time to go kick some ass, boys! Chop chop, I’m already bored!” He said and Merle managed a few more mouthfuls before they headed out. Magnus squeezed Avi’s hand and kissed his forehead quickly.

“I’m sure I’ll see you in the hanger?” He asked and Avi nodded, dropping his fork and getting up so he could head to the hanger and prepare a cannonball for their decent.

“Yeah, see you in a few.” He said with a small smile and Magnus hurried out of the cafeteria after the guard and his teammates.

***

After their meeting with the Director and a quick detour to steal some boys and to visit Pringles in the brig, Magnus met back up with Taako and Merle in the hanger bay so they could head planetside into the Felicity Wilds. Avi was just getting a cannonball mounted for them and he opened up the side hatch.

“Oh! God! Okay, the Felicity Wilds actually aren’t that far away so… just get ready to hit the brakes pretty quickly, okay?”

“Okay!” Taako said and placed his hand on the brake handle.

“Are you guys ready to go?” Avi said, getting ready to seal the door.

“Yup!” Merle said as he relaxed against his seat. The cannonball rides were actually quite fun now.

“Hold on, one more thing,” Magnus said and leaned out the side of the ball, reaching out to grab Avi and pulling him in for a tender kiss. He just barely pulled away and whispered “love you” before sitting back properly in his seat. He didn’t know what had come over him, but he really felt like he needed to say it. 

Before Avi could respond, Magnus pulled the door closed and it sealed. He panicked. He had two unconscious guys in his pocket, he had a confusing image of himself wearing a red robe in his head, and he had a feeling in his gut that this mission was going to be more dangerous and more taxing than all of their previous missions combined.

Avi, still in a bit of a daze, blinked a few times and shook his head to refocus before launching the cannonball.

As they sailed over the remains of Phandalin and the road to Wave Echo Cave, Magnus’ mind was racing. He’d told Avi he loved him… it was super casual and sudden and he hadn’t really even realized until just now that he really did love him. He loved Avi.

But this body would never see him again.

***  
“Wh-Where’s Magnus?” Avi said, his voice shaking a little as he watched Taako and Merle climb out of the cannonball. Magnus knew they looked like shit. Merle had his eyepatch and Taako, even with Arcane Cosmetics, just seemed… off. He was still physically and mentally drained from the whole ordeal. They all were. They’d learned so much so quickly, and Magnus kept having these flashes of memories he didn’t understand. He figured this was one good thing about being an unfeeling mannequin. He couldn’t feel the physical heartbreak as he watched Avi learn of his demise. It still hurt like hell, though.

Having to see Avi’s face was more painful that having his soul ripped from his body and shoved in to a shitty wooden mannequin. He couldn’t say anything. They had a plan. But Avi thought he was dead and he wanted so badly to comfort him and tell him that he was there! Magnus looked at the floor to avoid seeing the tears in Avi’s bright green eyes.

“No… no, he can’t be.” Avi said, starting to shake. Killian, Carey, and Noelle came in through the doors of the hanger bay to greet the Reclaimers and realized very quickly what had happened. Carey’s jaw clenched, as well as her fists, and she just sort of stared at the ground. Avi let out a choked sob and Killian stepped forward to catch him and his legs shook and gave out.

Magnus almost took a step forward, but Taako advised against it telepathically. Killian helped Avi to a place where he could sit down and tried to comfort him while also keeping an eye on her other teammates.

“Um,” Noelle said softly, sounding a bit choked up. Who knew robots could get choked up? “The Director is ready for y’all whenever. I’m assuming y’all got the relic?” She asked and Merle nodded quickly.

Magnus couldn’t take his eyes off Avi now. Watching him shake with silent sobs, mourning him. To see someone break down the way he had broken down when he returned to Raven’s Roost; it was bizarre and it felt like something he shouldn’t be allowed to see.

He told Taako via the Band of Telepathic Thought to move on and they exited the hanger dome. Magnus’ wooden form was trembling slightly and Taako tried to comfort him, but Magnus could’t physically feel the hand on his shoulder.

“We’ll figure something out.” Taako said softly and Magnus stayed silent. He couldn’t feel a thing, but he remembered what it was like to feel choked up, and he knew that he should be feeling that right about now.

***

Magnus was pinned. The dark and powerful wolf was on top of him, clawing at his shoulder and teeth ready to bite at his face. He couldn’t push it off and he was completely exhausted, but the flashes of memories from over one hundred years ago brought forth another option.

“Help!” He cried, voice cracking a little.

There was the sound of breaking glass crashing to the ground and a cannonball flew towards him, hitting the wolf and sending it off the edge of the moonbase.

Magnus looked around and his eyes fell on the source of the cannonball. Avi peeked out from behind the cannon and jumped down, hopping through the hole in the side of the dome and sprinting full tilt towards Magnus. He had tears streaming down his face and as Magnus tried to push himself to his feet, Avi tackled him and kissed him hard on the lips. Magnus was shocked for a moment, of course, but closed his eyes and kissed him back. He thought he would never get to kiss Avi again. The smaller man finally pulled back a little, sniffling and wiping his eyes.

“I love you too, you big dumb idiot. What the fuck happened to you?” He asked shakily. He was grinning ear to ear, overjoyed to see Magnus alive and (somewhat) well.

“It’s a really, really long story.” Magnus said with a nervous chuckle. “I mean, I guess you know the longest part of it now. But I’ll tell you the rest later.” Avi got to his feet and helped Magnus up. He was a bit bloodied, but that never stopped him from kicking ass. “By the way, dude, that was sick. That was amazing.” He said and Avi looked from the hanger bay to the edge of the base where the Hunger Wolf had been pushed off.

“Do you wanna say it, or should I?” He asked, giving Magnus a small smile.

“No, you take it.” He replied, lacing their fingers together as they looked over the edge.

“No dogs on the moon.”

***

Magnus smiled widely and clapped as he watched Carey and Killian walk in to the room, hand in hand. They both looked beautiful and he was so damn happy for them. Avi whistled next to him and he chuckled.

The newly married couple took to the dance floor and a slow, romantic song started up. Killian placed her hands on her wife’s waist and Carey reached up to wrap her arms around her wife’s neck. They were a really beautiful couple.

Everyone sat down to watch them dance together and Magnus reached for Avi’s hand under the table, lacing their fingers together. The last year had been a bit of a wild ride, but it was wonderful. Magnus went back to Raven’s Roost for the first time since seeing it burned to the ground and was pleased to see that the destroyed sectors where being rebuilt. He built a quaint house in one of the more residential areas with enough room for two, and invited Avi to live with him. Attached to the side of the humble abode was, of course, a dog training facility. Magnus opened up his business and helped people train their canine companions. It was his absolute dream job and business was booming. He also continued his carpentry out of a little workshop he’d built off the back of the house. Almost all of their furniture was handmade.

Avi was still doing some work for the Bureau of Benevolence, fixing the cannonballs if they were in particularly bad shape, but he stayed, for the most part, at home where he and Magnus could spend more time together.

The still didn’t call it “dating,” but that was okay. Magnus and Avi talked a lot about the nature of their relationship and were on the same page as far as that went. Magnus wasn’t ready to take that step, and Avi was happy just being with him and having someone to sleep next to at night. They said “I love you” often, always reminding each other that the connection they had was deep and real, and they didn’t need to be dating to have that. They were happy just as they were.

The song ended and the newlyweds invited the guests to join them on the dance floor. Another slow song started and couples from all around the room got up to go dance together. Taako guided Kravitz by the hand and they held each other close as they started their perfectly coordinated waltz. Barry was a bit more hesitant as Lup guided him out and they started a simpler step. Magnus cleared his throat and stood, offering his hand to Avi.

“May I have this dance?” He said with a small blush and Avi smiled up at him, taking his hand and standing.

“Of course.” He said and they headed towards the dance floor together. More couples filled in around them and Magnus put a free hand on Avi’s waist and started to sway with him. Neither of them were very coordinated when it came to dancing, so they kept it simple. Avi put his free hand on Magnus’ shoulder and smiled up at him. They didn’t say anything as the music floated around them. They didn’t need to. Everything was said in the soft smiles and unbroken eye contact. Their life together was far from perfect, the world was still recovering from last year’s events, and Magnus still struggled with everything he now remembered, but they had each other to work through it.

The song ended and Magnus leaned in to kiss Avi softly, their lips fitting together perfectly. A more upbeat song started and more people moved on to the dance floor. Magnus smiled and guided Avi away. They were both terrible dancers.

They sat back at their table and watched Merle dance very badly at the edge of the crowd, causing Mavis to groan and cover her eyes. Magnus chuckled and nudged her shoulder.

“He’s lassoing you, Mavis. You have to go join him. It’s the rules.” He said and Mavis peeked out from between her fingers to see Merle pulling her towards him with an invisible rope. She groaned again and hopped off her chair, moving towards him, a bit hesitant, and starting to bob up and down a little. Merle looked thrilled that she’d joined him.

“Dad! I wanna dance!” Mookie yelled and sprinted towards them, jumping up on Merle’s back and bouncing all around. Magnus laughed as he watched them, sitting back in his chair. Taako and Lup had stopped dancing with their respective partners and were instead grooving together in the middle of the dance floor.

Magnus realized in this moment that he was completely and truly happy. He was content in his life, he had amazing friends, his dream job, a man he loved by his side, and three big dogs waiting back home.

The rest of the night went smoothly, with dancing and food and a somewhat reasonable amount of drinking. Nobody got embarrassingly wasted and Magnus and Avi stuck around after most of the guests had left to help clean up. The newlyweds sat at one of the last remaining tables, looking completely exhausted, but happy. Carey was curled up in Killian’s lap, head resting on the Orc’s shoulder.

“You guys should get home and get some rest. You look exhausted.” Magnus said and Killian nodded, rubbing Carey’s arm.

“He’s right, babe. Besides, we gotta let them finish cleaning up.” She said and Carey nodded, getting up slowly and hugging Magnus.

“Thank you for everything, Mags.” She said softly and Magnus smiled, hugging her back gently,

“No problem, C.” He said and she smiled widely up at him before going to take her wife’s hand and leave the venue.

The last few tables and chairs were folded and stacked, the floor was swept, and the few remaining helpers headed out. Lup looked about dead on her feet, her heels dangling from her hand, and Barry practically held her up as he bade everyone goodbye and opened up a rift to get them home. Taako looked a bit sleepy as well, but he and Kravitz had to drop Magnus and Avi back at home, as the humans didn’t possess the ability to travel by magic and neither of them had special Reaper powers.

They said goodbyes at the front door and Magnus unlocked it, stepping inside with Avi and immediately toeing his shoes off. The dogs were all fast asleep by the fireplace, and only Johann woke up to lift his head, wag his tail a few times, and go right back to sleep. Magnus pulled off his suit jacket and draped it over the back of a chair he’d made that winter. Avi did the same, loosening his tie and running his hands over his face.

“That was an awesome night.” He said, voice a little slurred. Magnus smiled and came up behind Avi, wrapping his arms around him and leaning down to kiss his neck gently.

“It was. I really enjoyed dancing with you.” He whispered and Avi chuckled a little, putting his arms over Magnus’ and swaying gently with him.

“Yeah… me too.” He said, turning his head to kiss Magnus’ temple. They made their way to the main bedroom, finished undressing, and crawled into bed together. Magnus easily folded Avi in to his arms and they slotted together perfectly, as usual. Magnus slept soundly with Avi, never worrying about nightmares. 

“I love you.” He muttered, half asleep and partially drunk, but he absolutely meant it. After Julia, he thought he would never be truly content again. He thought he would die heroically in battle and that his life would end before he could ever think about settling down. But then, this amazing man came in to his life, and although Magnus wasn’t fully romantically available, he was all there emotionally, and every moment between them was genuine.

“I love you, too.” Avi replied, his lips brushing Magnus’ skin as he spoke. The smaller man was asleep within moments, but Magnus stayed awake a little longer just to admire him. This perfect specimen who took him as he was and loved him for it, truly. Through all the shit in his life, for everything he had gone through, one hundred different worlds he could have ended up in, Magnus was grateful to be in this one. This home had given him not one, but two loves of his life, and he thanked Istus every day for it.

He eventually closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, completely peaceful and wonderfully happy.


End file.
